In 2020, I got an astrology reading telling me, "This is the year you come into your soul purpose."
I was so excited! Like a child showing off her new toy, I told everyone about the reading and what it promised for me.
Feeling on purpose drives me. It is the ultimate desire I have for my life. And it was finally here!...Well, almost.
A month went by...and then another...I didn't feel the clarity and relief of knowing exactly what my purpose was.
Was I doing something wrong?
What book should I read?
What journaling should I do?
The secret underbelly worry I had was, "What if I fuck this up?..." And I started to freak out.
I was desperate for the answer. I felt stuck and alone. "Who can help me with this?!...Ahhhh, who knows what my purpose is?!!"
I got another astrology reading specifically to tell me my soul purpose. It was about 20 minutes long and it basically said, "Your purpose is to be an entrepreneur."
Sigh. I already AM an entrepreneur.
Still stuck and getting more desperate...
The clock was ticking in my mind and my stomach was twisted in knots of fear and hope and anguish.
I knew I had to find a different way.
So I turned to the place I always go for answers and Truth: to my art.
Art always reflects back who you truly are. It always tells the truth, even if you're not ready to hear it.
My whole life, I have used art to see myself. To know who I am and express the deepest part of me.
But this time I did something I had never done before, I set the intention to see my Soul.
I won't lie, I was scared.
And when I was just halfway through the painting, what I saw was this red, raw opening.
It didn't look like Soul, it looked like a painful birthing process.
Yes, it was.
And what was being born was the truest, most authentic version of me that I had ever dared to see.
I did find my soul purpose in my art.
It was there, staring back at me.
It was who I'd always been in my heart
Who I was as a child before people shamed my gifts away
My deepest passions I had hidden for safekeeping
Gifts so obvious to me I forget to see them
And then I felt it. The relief! The sureness! The on purpose-ness!
I was no longer jealous of other people doing great things.
Because I saw the great thing that was mine to do.
I no longer felt like my life was a random set of experiences.
I saw how it had all led me to HERE!
My purpose is to connect woman, soul and earth together using art as the language connecting us.
Art is the language of the soul.
But you need to know how to ask the right questions and read the Soul Messages that come through.
My gift is reading Soul Messages.
And now I'm on a mission to help all women Listen to their Soul Speak.
That's my purpose.
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